After work I had plans to have dinner with Dustin. He’s a tricky man. First he invites me over for dinner, gets me to agree to it, and then later tells me that we’re actually going on a 4 mile bike ride through McKinney Falls. And not only is it a bike ride, but it involves getting dirty and going through creeks, trails, and stuff. Um, say what now? I’m all fine and dandy with being out in the wilderness. I went camping a lot as a child and was in the boy scouts and all that. Being outdoors is not a foreign concept to me, and nature doesn’t scare me. However… I have not been on a bike in many many many many years, and I have not been to the gym in several months. I am not in the best shape to go on some extreme bike ride with someone that IS in good shape. But whatever… I said I’d do it. Although, I was promised martinis on this bike ride, and not only did I not receive any martinis (while bike riding), I didn’t get any water either… but I’ll get to that in a bit.
So I arrived at Dustin’s and we had one martini in his house and chatted for a bit. I expressed to him my concern that it looked like it was about to rain, and I don’t like to get wet. I am not a fan of the rain, unless I am covered from it. He was not concerned. We went out to his garage and got the bikes and headed off.
Sadly, the ride started with us having to go up a large hill, that was practically a mountain! And not only did I have to climb this mountain, I was huffing and puffing and trying to catch my breath in what can only be described as a most putrid smelling area of town. It’s bad enough not being able to catch your breath, but it’s worse when you do catch it and the stench is so bad it punches you in the face and makes you want to loose it all over again.
After we crested the mountain, I was given two choices for our journey; through the woods and a creek, or down the street with dangerous traffic. You know I chose the traffic, which apparently also came with it’s own putrid smells. I must also mention that I was told that the bike I was riding had a history of having the front wheel pop off. Amazingly I was less disturbed by this fact and I was with realizing that my seat was not optimized for my comfort. That seat was HARD and hurting my BUTT, and this was on smooth(ish) pavement. It only got worse on the trails.
At first I was having a little bit of a hard time catching my breath, but just like when I’m on the elliptical machines at the gym, once I got into the rhythm of it, I was ok. I was actually somewhat enjoying the ride. Once we went into the wooded areas, I realized that Dustin was trying to kill me. These trails were all kinds of windy and covered with rocks and tree roots! The trails were very narrow with lots of trees on both sides. Some of the rocks were catching on my bike pedals and I hit at least one tree with my handles.
When we finally arrived at the McKinney Falls we took a break. The falls weren’t all that impressive because we haven’t had enough rain lately, it was actually more like McKinney drizzle, as you can see in this picture.
Dustin took me over to the other side of the swamp to show me some lava rock and to give me a little history lesson. How nice of him to school me before he tried to kill me again, nothing is better than a dead man with knowledge. I also took a picture of us together while we were over there, looking all sweaty and gross. I meant to get the McKinney drizzle in the background, but didn’t.
I took a few more pics while I was over there. Notice the beautiful rainbow that came out to welcome us, and the horrible storm clouds that were there to threaten.
While I was taking pics, Dustin decided he need to get all up in my frame, so I took advantage of that and decided I could make a little flip book. I took a bunch more of these, but I only uploaded four of them because the rest aren’t that interesting to look at alone.
After fooling around at the drizzle spot for a while, we headed back. He took us back on a different route that involved a lot of uphill riding. The ride there wasn’t so bad on the way there because it was downhill, but this was mostly going up hill over rock and tree roots, which is NOT FUN, and not very cushy on the tushy. I had to stop for a bit to take a break, I was struggling trying to catch my breath and I said, “I should have a brought my inhaler.” Dustin’s head whipped around real quick with a scared look, full of concern. Hahahah “I’m just kidding.” I’m not asthmatic anymore and I don’t use an inhaler.
When we got off the trail he made me the offer again to cut through the woods back to his house. I declined again. Then he told me this story about how one time he was cutting through the woods and he came to a part where he had to walk his bike across a big log (over a ravine) and the log broke and he fell like 10 feet down into the hole and the bike fell on top of him. He said it was so deep and narrow that he thought he wasn’t going to be able to get out and he would die in there. Um and you want me to take this shortcut?
When we got close to his home and had to go back down the mountain, he said to me, “Put your bike in the highest gear because you will be peddling like crazy to keep up.” Who is he fooling? I’m not about to pedal while going down hill, this is my chance to coast and take a break. Going down that mountain was a little scary because it was so fast and we were on a sidewalk right next to a busy street with cars flying by at like 55mph. I just knew I was going to hit a piece of uneven sidewalk and flip off the bike into traffic and die. Oh and that fool did not even give me a helmet! No helmet, no water, and NO MARTINIS! RUDE
I survived the bike ride, so Dustin had to try to kill me in some other way. He had bought this Italian meatloaf thingy for dinner and thought it was precooked, but it SO was not. He got a forkfull of it and tried to have me taste it. No ma’am, that stuff was pink and raw and I was not trying to be having food poisoning. I had just survived the death ride, and I was not about to die from meatloaf.
We ended up having a frozen pizza (with Martinis) instead. My poor left knee was killing me. You know I already have problems with this knee, the cap is not properly aligned and if I bend it and straighten it too many times, or put too much pressure on it (such as riding uphill) then it gives out and feels like my knee cap is going to explode off. But as bad as my knee feels right now, my butt is even more sore. We can send people to the moon, but we can’t make a comfortable bike seat? COME ON!
Yep, so that was my night… attempted murder and martinis. I must add that I think I did very well on this bike trip and barely complained at all, other than the occassional shouts of “Why are you trying to kill me!?!?!” And for me not to complain, that’s huge! Especially considering this ride involved three of my least favorite things, exercise, getting wet, and getting dirty (and I was wearing my pretty white sneakers!).
