I left work yesterday at 11 because it was so slow and I didn’t have enough work to keep me busy. So why bother staying right? Exactly! So I went home, napped, watched TV, played on the computer, and that’s about it.
Around 4:20 I went to pick up my sister because last night was our awards banquet for the Fall Austin Gamblers Bowling league at Rainbow. In the e-Mail before the event Brian said to be there at 5, and not to be late. He even went further to say not to be on “Gay Time”. So Michelle and I showed up at like 5:10 and it was pretty much empty. They didn’t start ANYTHING until almost six. Why were we told to get there at 5?
The food was catered by one of the bowlers. As the food made it’s way into the bar, it was obvious that he was not a professional caterer. Some of the dishes were brought in on mismatched serving trays and bowls. It’s all the little details that made it obvious, like the cheap Styrofoam plates, no knives, generic brand napkins still in the plastic wrap, and the mismatched serving trays.
We were already worried about this person, whose name I won’t reveal, doing the catering, then when we saw all of that, we just felt worse. Our fears were confirmed when we got in line for the “buffet”. There were chicken strips (not breaded) covered in some kind of orange marmalade, meatballs (yet no sauce or pasta), shishkabobs of cold luncheon meat with cheese and vegetables drizzled with salad dressing, some kind of weird tacos with salad dressing poured all over the tortillas, tuna salad, rolls, a cheese tray, crackers, and a lunch meat tray… and this is the best part, the lunch meat was turkey and BALOGNA!
When I got to the lunch meat I said (out loud to nobody particular), “Is that SERIOUSLY balogna?” The homos behind me in line started laughing and I said, “No, but for real, this is a valid question. Is that balogna?!”
That was the weirdest lineup of food, it was mostly meats and no side dishes. The meats didn’t even go together! The meatballs were cold and the chicken strips were only lukewarm and the marmalade just made that all wrong. I thought I could at least enjoy the lunch meat on the shishkabobs, but not covered in what I think was Italian dressing. It was gross lunch meat, like the cheapest kind possible. After eating the bits of that which I could stomach, I felt sick all night. I’m not happy about my half season of dues having been spent on that.
Then we didn’t even get awarded our prize money until almost 8! Why the hell did he tell us to be there at 5?!?!?!? Michelle and I were not happy about that. We got less prize money than we thought. We thought we were getting at least got $26 dollars because we payed our last two weeks of bowling up front and then we quit the league at the end of the first half of the season. Brian had told us we would get the $26 back, plus prize money. What did we end up getting??? $22.54! I guess they took money out for something… whatever.
The door prizes they gave away were lame. Why does EVERYTHING have to have Rainbows? Rainbow shot glasses, rainbow candles, rainbow bowling pins, rainbow tapestry… and so on. They also gave away a cooler, The L Word DVD, and gift certificates. Michelle and I were so worried that we’d win a lame prize… but lucky us, we got there at 5 and didn’t win ANYTHING!
OK, that’s enough ranting for me. I need to get to work. Oh wait no… there’s more. Michelle snagged some of the “caterer’s” business cards, which we found amusing enough due to the weird errors on it. I know my journal is probably full of spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors, but then I don’t print my journal out and hand it out at parties and pretend to be a professional.
He used quotes when an apostrophe was needed, like as in (Name”s Custom Catering), he used a hyphen in “In Your-Home Dining”, and him referring to himself as a chef is like Michael Jackson calling himself a babysitter, Paris Hilton calling herself an actress, or Ashlee Simpson calling herself a singer. Nope… it’s just not happening!
Oh, and they were the free business card printed from vistaprint.com, If you’re going to pretend you have a real business, at least spring for real business cards. If I turn over a business card and see “free business card from Vistaprint.com” on the back, your credibility is shot… unless your business is being cheap.
I really hope this was one of his firsts catering jobs.
