Last night I went to the company picnic, which was lame. It was also way too damn hot out there. For real, Dale and I were sitting on those stone picnic tables and metling. I was wondering what ever posessed me to think this was a good idea.
How can a company picnic be a good idea? It’s a picnic filled with people I don’t even really like. Dale and I were sitting by ourselves, minding our own business, trying to minimize on movement (therefor minimizing the melting effect) and Micki comes over and asks, “Don’t you know anyone here?”
“Um? Hello! I’ve been here almost five years, I know everyone. I just don’t like anyone.”
Ok, that’s kind of a lie. I do like some people in this division, but I’m not trying to be talking about work, and that’s all these fools are talking about. One lady even came over to us and tried to strike up a conversation at work. I gave her the eye.
There was some excitement revolving around the presence of water balloons. Dale and I were trying to make sure we were nowhere near the balloons or any activity involving them.
The food finally showed up and we all sat down to eat. I made the mistake of sitting with the wrong people and spent my meal being annoyed by someone’s daughter. She was probably like 16 or 17 and obnoxious as hell. She was sitting directly in front of me.
She was carrying on conversations with her father (an executive) in Spanish while we were all eating. Someone noticed my two cell phones and asked about them. I mentioned that I was on call, then the obnoxious girl asks her father (in Spanish) all about me and why I’m on call, all the while looking at me and talking to him. RUDE.
A short while later, Dale and I tried to make our escape without being noticed. We inched our way towards our vehicles and then got stopped by top executive’s admin assistant. She’s nice though, so we didn’t mind talking to her.
During this conversation, this lady mentions how she doesn’t like to drink much at company parties because she might end up dancing on tables. Hello! Later she slips into conversation something about “rolling one up”. Stunned, I tell ya… Stunned.
Then MY boss comes over and further blocks our graceful exit. He makes us all sit down with Lisa (a late arrival) so she won’t have to eat alone. I made a joke about not wanting to sit with a woman that has a tatoo (but I actually really like Lisa) and my boss says, “Oh yeah, that’s skanky.”
What?!?!? Did you just call someone, a female, a skank… at a company picnic… in front of witnesses? Shameful. Then asked Dale if she had a tatoo, which she does, so he called her a skank too. He was just throwing that word around like crazy.
He asked Lisa if she ever went to 6th Street and when she said no, he said, “Oh come on, you’re skanky, you’re probably down there all the time.” I nearly fell out of my seat.
People started to take off a little later, so I made my exit. My boss was walking towards his car and about to cross the street. He saw me coming and seriously took off running across the street like I might have the urge to run him over… and I was cracking up because I was just thinking how it might feel to “accidentally” run him over.
I went home and watched the American Music Awards, which were pretty darn boring. I wasn’t really thrilled by anyone’s performance. I did enjoy Whitney’s performance at the end. Her voice seemed to be in much better shape, but she still couldn’t hit the notes in “I Will Always Love You” like she used to be able to do way back when.
That is all!
