I have funny things that I keep forgetting to mention.
1. Driving home from (um… somewhere) with Sam and Kristi the other night, we were chatting and then THUD. I had seen something coming toward the windshield, something that looked like a shoe. But seriously, where would a shoe be coming from?
Sammy busted out laughing and I was in shock. Did I just hit a bird? I mean, it looked like a shoe, but I’m pretty sure it had to be a bird. What else could it be? It left no marks, but it was loud. It hit right in front of my face and scared the crap out of me. I was seriously in shock for like 5 minutes, all the while Sam is about to pee himself laughing.
*****************************
2. Last night Sammy and I were talking about theoretically stealing the boyfriend of a friend that happens to be diabetic. This might totally be one of those “had to be there” stories, but who cares?! Anyways, so Sammy suggested that the friend is diabetic and may not live long anyway.
So we started joking about showing up to hang out with him and being like “Sugar packet anyone? Anyone want some sugar?” I suggested sitting next to him at he bar and pouring sugar into his drink when he wasn’t looking.
Really? The guy was cute, but not cute enough to be talking about murdering someone over. Well, I don’t really know the victim that well… ok wait no. I’m not knocking someone off so Sammy can get a man.
*****************************
3. I had a third, but I can’t remember it now. I know I had Xoch in tears laughing most of today, but I can’t remember what was I saying that was so funny. I do remember cracking her up when I was joking about her breast size.
We were tubing down the river and we came to this bridge. You could go under the bridge, but you’d have to lay flat and squish down some. I told her we’d try it, but that I hoped we wouldn’t get stuck.
I told her to hold her “girls” flat because I didn’t want to see it on the news as “Local girl gets stuck under a bridge by her sizable breasts. Rescue crews are trying to rescue her, but they’re afraid she may lose a nipple.”
You’d have to know Xoch to see how funny it is. The poor girl is probably an b cup. There’s no way those girls were getting caught on anything.
Then later on the way to the car I was making fun of her girls again and she said it cracked her up that I called them girls, and I said, “Well, they’re definitely not ladies!”
Poor Xochi.
